The biggest 'Deal' of the year on 'Stuff'

"Can I help you find something?" says the aggressive store clerk.

Answer options:

A. Without making eye contact reply "No thank you, I'm just looking."

B. Walk faster and pretend you didn't hear her because your anxiety is climbing. Can't risk engaging in conversation. She might try to give you 'buy this' advice about the living room she is imagining all wrong.

C. Or my new line "I heard you have a lot of STUFF. Just looking around at STUFF today. I see you have sparkly STUFF. I will start there." That usually stops the chase. 

My brain was human once. I used to question why. 

Why must I make my bed in the morning if I have to fix it for sleeping again in the evening?

Why does green have the same taste regardless if it is lettuce, grass, broccoli, or the lilac bush foliage I stole and ate from the neighbors yard?

Why is that squirrel dragging a hot dog bun up a tree?

I need to mention that these questions were not from recent years.

Then in my adult life, I obtained a job that afforded me extra funds. This gave me access to making the thoughtless decision to hand it over to stores like PierOne Imports and Bed Bath and Beyond. In return, I am blessed with a bunch of crap that only makes sense in one season. Usually the season that is on sale and currently over. By the time that season rolls around again I have no idea I own said item after tucking it away. No one compliments my stuff by the way, because my design ability is also crap. So much for bragging rights.

I can't shake this ferret like impulse.

Ferret impulse = must have, must hide, must hoard.

Even after crap stuff is obtained it never satisfies. 

The ferret will strike again and here's why.

I present to you. The story of STUFF.

This is obviously outdated (2007), but there is a video series that continues to reveal the deal behind stuff that is ongoing.

Calling all ferrets - comment below and suggest what other stores I should stay away from during this time of great addiction...or which ones I should shop at next. *COUGH COUGH*

Hoping to gain control of consumption through the power of questions,

- Kimbo-B-Tuna