Bad Parent, Good Parent

I have started my fourth blog post several times now and am struggling to state my idea. So I'm just going to blurt it out.

Imagine the three of us are standing in a circle chatting. You and the other person are talking about something when I, feeling like the third wheel suddenly stammer out of turn (and a little too loudly)...

I think every child should get training on how to be a good parent!

There, I've said it.

Let me add some context. I remember sitting alone, years back, at the counter of a breakfast diner in New Hope. Reading my book as I ate my eggs, I looked over to see a mother and her young son sit down several stools away. I cannot describe it, but there was something about her that raised the alarm in the back of my mind.

Bad Parent...

Every parent can recount the time when they were the Bad Parent. A time when their child whom they love so much did something, pushed "that" button, that made the parent so angry...

The boy reached for a oversized menu nearby and ticked his water glass with the corner of his menu as he struggled to open it.

"Do it this way." the mother said sternly as she grabbed his menu and arranged it in front of son. He seemed to shrink into himself on the stool as she opened his menu for him on the counter.

Of the maxims I've learned as a parent, sayings like, Pick Your Battles and Count to Ten, the one I feel strongly enough about to have turned into my own little mantra is, "build them up, don't tear them down."

This isn't what it seems and I'm making something from nothing. I rationalized to myself.

Yet as I watched the scene unfold something about how cowed he, around his mother, suggested that he expected her reaction, that he was used to being shut down. The perceived injustice of his treatment mingled bitterly with my own memories of being shamed as a child by my parents. As he lived his shame, I found myself reliving mine.

Signs of Bad Parenting

I've seen enough Bad Parenting examples, some of which were me. I've read too many sad news stories with bad outcomes for children. With every horrific incident in the news, the role of parents seems ignored.

169,000 hits in 0.26 seconds

I just googled "bad parenting" in the news and came up with a lot of results. It's said you cannot legislate morality; you cannot make a law that everyone should be a good parent.

How do we fix this issue?

We cannot create a law to force good parenting, we cannot punish bad parenting because where does it stop? I can imagine the Bad Parent Brigade going from home to home arresting Bad Parents. Would You be next? What about me?

I propose teaching children good parenting skills before they become parents. Starting at preschool through high school graduation, children would take an age appropriate course on good parenting skills. I envision a supportive network of classes teaching globally accepted good parenting skills combined with a social and educational network, supporting parents. The idea isn't  to punish parents for being parents, but provide basic to advanced skills that children can learn, teens can use, and adults can build upon.

We enforce driver's training and gun training, why not train all of us for the most important job we have?

This is my blogging exercise 4