Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Year the NFL Allowed Robots to Play Football


Adrian Peterson isn't human, and to be honest, the NFL is endangering a lot of lives to allow a cyborg such as AP play with mortals made of flesh, bone, and other fragile materials in comparison to Purple Jesus’ titanium skeletal system and Kevlar skin. OK  all kidding aside, but really, Adrian is an absolute monster – only 9 months removed from an absolutely devastating ACL and PCL tear in his knee, he returned to normal play with the Vikings. Now, ordinary individuals hope they can ever run properly again after such an injury – professional athletes can be expected to come back, but never at their previous level. Well, Adrian being Adrian, comes back to football and posts the second highest rushing total in a single season, ever.
                In a way, Adrian saved the season for us perpetual Vikings pessimists – he turned what could have (should have) been a four win season into our first playoff berth in three years, a chance for a nice young core to learn without the constant weight of failure pressing on them every Sunday.  
                As a result, I’m much more excited for the upcoming season than I ought to be – and the likes of the additions of Patterson, Floyd, and Jennings have my normally pessimistic attitude just slightly less pessimistic.

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